Signed Sealed Delivered: Justice

This morning, while sipping a so-so cup of coffee, I could hear shrill screaming from a woman outside. Lately, my street has been a hot bed of people making obscene phone calls, physical cat fights, and riff raff in general. My inner Gladys Kravitz rushed to the window expecting, nay, hoping to see an entertaining shoving match from the safety of my apartment.

I used all my might to lift the window of my fire trap domicile, poked my head out to look below and was aghast at the sight!!

A hundred feet below was a female cop pressed up against the friendly neighborhood UPS delivery man. Bizarrely enough, no weapons were drawn, but instead the two of them were grinding in dance against each other with only the sweet melodic piercing sound of her repetitive, “Hayyy! Haaay!”

One can only assume they joined forces to apprehend an assailant thieving hundreds of dollars’ worth of Amazon packages and broke into the Dance of Justice to celebrate. I watched for a moment as she gave him one final booty bump and they returned to their respective vehicles, giggling undeniably over a job well done.

Only in New York can the love of justice blossom between a UPS man and a NYPD traffic cop woman through pilfering and petty larceny.